5 problems with social media.

let me start off by saying that is blog is day 1 of a 30 day writing challenge I chose to do. Everything that is stated within this challenge are my thoughts and opinions. feel free to comment your thoughts and opinions if you like. As I do this challenge some of the things I blog about will give you a deeper idea of the person behind the blog.  With that being said on with the challenge....

1. One thing I think is problem with social media is that it makes it easier for people to bully other people. I can remember when your bullies were all local and usually someone you knew or at least seen. Now with social media someone in a different state that you can tell you that "your ugly" and "you should go kill yourself". When I was bullied as a kid all they did was chase me home and on occasion beat my ass. Today with the help of social media the bullies now attack with mental abuse with I feel is a lot worst than getting my ass beat by a bully.
2. The second thing  I think is a problem with social media kind of goes hand in hand with the first one. It has to do with people no longer have any privacy. Social media makes it easier to be found by those you don't want to be found by. I know that can cause disagreements and people saying "Don't be on social media then". The thing is a good thing about it is it helps new and upcoming authors and artists network and they can do this under a pseudonym. With people hacking social media accounts it makes keep some aspects private.
3. The third thing I think is a problem with social media is that it makes people less personable. instead of picking up the phone and talking to someone or writing a snail mail letter with all your thoughts in it. People post all their drama for everyone to see and comment on. why would anyone want the whole world to know about all the "he said she said" drama in or life. or if you got "beef" with someone, Do what they used to do when I was a kid...say it to their face. 
4. number 4 is along the line of number 3. People perceive what others write on social media the way they want to. It seems to me lately that people make things out of nothing these days just so they have something to talk about.
5. I honestly can't think of a fifth problem of social media cause I am not like a lot of people I know and on it all day. I use it mostly for business purposes and to keep in touch with some of my friends that live in other states that i can't call for one reason or another.

this ends my challenge for day 1. I hope enjoyed reading and please check out tomorrow's topic of my challenge "your earliest memory"

What It's like to be a writer with Social Anxiety

I was never really all that social. Growing up I was always treated like an outcast and a freak. I didn't have many friends all through childhood as well as adulthood. Those I did seem to connect with were those who felt like no one cared. Looking back now it seems like I was trying to save them from the same fate I had. Destined to be lonely forever. Some say that if you are surrounded by people there is no way to be lonely and this I find to be untrue. I have been unloved most of my life, which is why I am so lonely. I prefer to be alone due to having Social Anxiety, but would like to be loved someday. I wasn't always this way. I used to crave being around people in hopes that the loneliness would go away. No matter how many people I surrounded myself with I was still lonely. I learned as time went on that they were only around me to see what they could get from me. I still have people like that trying to get close to me. I have trust issues, it takes a long time for me to trust someone. I always think that someone is only being nice to me because they want something from me. I feel that once they get what they want they are gone.

None of what I said so far really has to do with my social anxiety, but I wanted to tell you a little bit about me, Let me start with explaining what social anxiety is with the help of  webMd.:

 Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others.

My social anxiety is psychological, I avoid crowds the best I can. I don't like public speaking. I have a hard time with sending emails, writing blogs or even posting on social media. I fight with myself to such things and usually after 20 minutes of debating whether or not the person receiving what I'm sending is going to even care to look at it, i finally send it. Then I start wondering if I just made an idiot of myself. I am a newly self-published author and I feel the reason I not know is because my social anxiety makes it hard for me to reach out to people for reviews. I have tried to send emails to reviewers but they now sit in my draft folder. I worry about not being good enough. This is something that affects what I do every day, It is even hard for me to even go to the grocery store.

I want to write, it helps soothe my demons and I feel that my stories can frighten and entertain those who like horror stories. I learned that even though I am not a social butterfly I have a voice and I need to try and find it, Writing helps give me that voice. I have a "I don't care what people think" kind of attitude because in a sense I don't. There is a part of me however that has always wanted to accepted and has failed to do so, That part of me is the part where the anxiety stems from.

The writing part of being a writer is not the hardest part for me 'cause I can sit alone, listen to music and have conversations on paper with my demons and imaginary friends. As I write I don't feel judged or unloved which may seem strange to some. The hardest part for me is the promoting, marketing of my books. That part is the hardest because I know that people are cynical towards those who are not like them and I know I don't fit in. I, as a writer, am trying to overcome my struggle with dealing with people. I may not ever become a best selling author but if I could win over the social anxiety to do what I love the most then I will have all I ever asked for.

I will still get nervous standing in front of people and I will still feel like my writing is never good enough. I however refuse to let any of that stop me from getting book reviews or eventually book signings. Being a writer with social anxiety is an everyday struggle that I refuse to define me.

If you have any questions, suggestions or experiences you would like to share feel free to leave a comment.

Monsters & Demons By Brian Rella

Monsters & Demons is Brian Rella's Debut book, and I feel that he is "coming out the gate" strong with this one. Starting out strong with good plots and storylines, with a few I feel could be expanded into full books if he wanted to, I can only imagine how well his books read when he evolves as a writer. Just like any short story collections there are some stories that are more likable than others. This does not mean I think the others are bad, it just means I was able to "connect" better with a few of the stories more than I did the others. I feel that Brian is a talented writer, and if you enjoy horror stories about Monsters and/or Demons, I suggest you give him a try:

http://www.amazon.com/Brian-Rella

About the Author : Brian Rella 

Biography

Brian Rella grew up in and around New York City reading Stephen King and comic books. Now he writes the stuff he loves to read. Brian also blogs about his experiences and challenges as a writer while maintaining a demanding, full time day job and raising a young family.

Music whether it’s Mainstream or Underground is still Music, so why all the hate?

Besides money, the one thing that seems to make the world go ‘round is music; It is everywhere.

One of the things you see a lot of, or should I say hear of, is music; Just like money it is something that makes people’s life better. A lot of people will disagree with this, but if you really think about it you will see that on some level this is true. Let’s explore this a little before I continue, let’s say you like to listen to music to relax and just let your mind drift off, thinking of nothing just “feeling” the music. Isn’t that escape from the stresses of your day making things better? How about this example; you’re going through a really tough time and you feel like you just can’t handle it anymore then you find a song that “speaks” to you letting you know you are not alone. Doesn’t that make you feel better even if it’s for the moment? If you answered yes than in a way that song or songs just made your life a little more bearable which in turn even briefly made you’re life better.

A bad aspect of music, just like having money has bad aspects, is that there is so much hate and labeling of people who listen to one or the other.  It seems like in today’s society no one is allowed to have their own opinion about things.  I feel you should listen to whatever helps make your life better, and only you can decide what kind of music does that.  Another aspect of music that gets hated on is the artists in both mainstream and underground. Since I listen to both underground and mainstream depending on my mood and situation, but listen to underground artists more I will focus on some things that will hopefully help others understand that just because an underground artist is popular doesn’t mean he is mainstream or “sold out”.

There is a lot of conflict when an underground artist gets popular, knows their way around the business end of the business they are in, and starts making enough money that they aren’t struggling anymore. I hope what I include in the post will help some understand things better , I don’t expect the bashing to stop honestly because people will  still do as they please which they are free to do that when it comes to speech. I want you to know in this blog I am expressing my opinion.

Let me start by saying that even though it’s mostly hip hop (rap) that most people seem to bash when it comes to underground I wanted to say that, just like mainstream, underground covers lots of different genres. Some examples of genres that are both underground and mainstream are Rock, Electronic, Pop, hip-hop, Dance, Alternative Rock, Folk, Blues, and Punk.  The difference between mainstream and Underground is Mainstream is commercialized.  Yes there are contracts between artist and Independent (Underground) record labels to protect the rights of both parties, but that doesn’t mean they are commercialized. Let me give an example that isn’t music related but still has the same concept. I am an Independent (Indie) author, I have a contract with the people I do business with for the printing of my book, the platform used for my EBook etc. Those services cost money and my contract states they will get their money from the products I sell. I have all rights to my works and I am the one who does all the work including marketing and promoting. That is pretty much how an Independent record label works.

For those who say “Oh this person when mainstream”, “that person sold out” I got a question for you do you really expect people to just work hard to give you things for free. That would be like you going to your job every day and not get a paycheck at the end of the week. Would you do that? Would you be able to provide for your family like that? No, so why are you expecting music artists to do that. They are people with families and bills that make music as their job. They are self-employed and still have to pay taxes just like any other working person.   Artists that are successful at their jobs for example Tech N9ne, Insane Clown Posse, Twiztid didn’t “sell out”, to “sell out" means to imply that the entity changed due to an influence considered negative. I don’t see how any of these artists changed due to a negative influence, just because they are profitable at their jobs doesn’t mean they “sold out” it just means they know how to sell a product. In this case the product is their persona.

 Mainstream artists are usually on labels like Sony, Universal, Warner and their imprints.The way mainstream works is they look for talent that fill the requirements of that label. They have image consultants that fully create the artist or bands persona that the label believes would work for them. The artist has no say in it. As I said earlier Independent artists are just that independent most of the ones I listen to don’t try to fit into a certain demographic, if you like them you like them if you don’t you don’t it’s really that simple. All ages and walks of life like a lot of different Independent (Underground) artists they don’t do their music for just one type of person.

The mainstream dominates the radio, television, and magazines, but the Underground seems to dominate the Internet, such as YouTube, and social media as well as internet radio.  In the world of technology it is easier for the Independent artist to market and promote their work. A major part of promoting any kind of business is word of mouth, when artist reach out to their fans like Twiztid, Tech N9ne, Claas and Bukshot, to name a few, do on social media like Twitter, Instagram and Facebook they are expanding their reach that had been limited before.  Mainstream is all about the money and to be honest I don’t know of a lot if any mainstream artist do free shows or help with food drives like I know some Independent artist do. They are still about the people even though they now have money they may not have had in the past. Like I said earlier though they are just getting paid for the work they do.

In conclusion just because someone does their job well and gets compensated for it doesn’t mean they “sold out” and unless you know they are one an imprint of a major record label  saying “they went mainstream” is just speculation on your part.  Why can’t we just enjoy the music we like listening to and stop trying to make every other individual think their choice is wrong, when it is right for them?!